Monday, June 16, 2008

R. Kelly - Was there any doubt?

Wassup, Y'all!

You had to know. When the verdict came down the only unsurprised brother in the room was Ol Ty. Despite a video tape, eye witness testimony from the third wheel in a three-way with Kells and the girl in question, and an incriminatin' Boondocks episode, Kells got the verdict he paid for and is headed back to the Chocolate Factory with is duffle bag of homemade porn a free man - acquitted on all counts. Welcome to the remix.

We've been here before, OJ, MJ and now Kells. I have to ask the question - what is the purpose of video? It seems that lawyers have now become too good at tellin' jurors not to believe their eyes. The Rodney King video? The defense lawyer was all like, 'look closely ladies and gentlemen - most of those blows aren't even landing on Mr. King...'. Now with the Kells video they stuck to their story that it wasn't even him on the tape, though pretty much all my homeys who caught the bootleg copy said it was. What more proof is needed than the word of all my homeys? You know the case never had a chance when even one of the northside male jurors came out and said it wasn't him on the tape. Dang, a little bit of money goes a loooong way...

Ol Ty can tell you straight up where the prosecution went wrong - they needed that team from CSI on the case. You know that crew would have been usin' ultraviolet light on the ceiling of the apartment below the one where the alleged pee spray took place to find some residual uric acid, which they would have taken to the lab, time dated to 2002 based on its aging effect on the ceiling drywall and extracted DNA from both Kells *and* the alleged 13-year old victim to crack the case. See that's how it works on TV, y'all. Works all the time. In real life - not so much. That's where cheddar, celebrity and high power lawyers can turn a prosecution's open and shut case into a room full of jurors with a contagious case of the reasonable doubts.

Truthfully there was something unseemly about all the southside shortys outside of the courthouse everyday jockin' each other to get a closer perch in order to spot Kells and scream like the straight chicken-heads they were. Most of them probably would have given their eye teeth to have been the alleged shorty in the video - pee and all and how damn sad is that? I caught a brief interview with one such shorty who said she felt bad seeing Kells roll into the courthouse everyday with his head down and she would always shout over to him, 'Keep ya head up!' Well, apparently given the verdict, Kells had nothing to keep his head down for. Only in America.



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