Friday, June 06, 2008

Will Florida Ever Get It Right?

Wassup, Y'all!

Despite the provocative title of this post, ol Ty's not here to paint all of Florida with a broad brush, but after the 2000 election mess, the 2008 election mess and now this madness in Hillsborough County where the Sons of Confederate Veterans are preparing to fly a 50' x 30' confederate flag on a 139 foot flagpole in a spot next to a highway traveled by more than 124,000 drivers a day, I'm about ready to file the paperwork to let them secede from the Union for good. We have enough other states to pick up the slack.

Just like Grand Wizard Bubba Ray and the rest of the Knights of whatever Imperial Bull$hit Klan Local 52 do when they plan their rallies, the Sons are leaning heavily on their First Amendment rights of free speech and went to meticulous legal pains to make sure there were no legal roadblocks that could make them stand down on this foolishness. No, the only thing left to appeal to is good common sense, which sadly it appears those good ol boys have none of...

Somehow, this jacked up flag continues to be a source of pride for a segment of southern northsiders despite the fact it represents the dark days of slavery, dixie, king cotton and a rogue collection of states that were willing to break up the Union to ensure that their lifestyle could go on unchecked. Had they been successful, I'd probably be typing this post in Massa's basement up at the big house (cuz there'd be no Wi-Fi connection down in the field houses, y'all). Mama would be in the kitchen bakin' her fly cornbread muffins for Massa and Missus, but not before sneakin' in a little spit and ground glass. Y'all know what I'm sayin'.

It's sad the pains these boys went through to ensure that thing would be legit. In addition to that eyesore flag, they'll also have a little memorial park dedicated to the sacrifices of the confederate soldiers. They also made sure to note that that included the 'small group of black soldiers who fought on the Confederacy's behalf'. I'm sure those boys were willing participants.

How is this different from some crackpot group in Germany flying the Nazi flag from the Third Reich next to the Autobahn? Or some crackpot group in the Russia flying the Sickle and Hammer of the old Soviet Union? It's not. If the Sons want to dishonor the notion of 'one Nation, Under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all' that's their right as citizens. However, it's also our right to display our displeasure with this tomfoolery the old fashioned, American way - by effectin' their paper.

Just like the Montgomery bus boycott, ol Ty better not see the first out of state southsider droppin a dime in Hillsborough County since, as John Adams, commander of the organization's Florida division said, 'It's a free country as far as I know'. Dang - ol boy still's not sure if it's a free country or not. The Hillsborough po-po probably needs to go check his basement to see if he's harboring any 'domestic help' down there.

All I can do is shake my head on this one, y'all, but ol Ty is happy to see that there is still much common sense left in the country as the original US based flag maker approached by the Sons backed out when their union members correctly said, 'Hell to tha Nizzo' to that nonsense. So the Sons had that joint made in China. How's that for irony? A counterfeit Confederate flag. I'm waiting for the first hard rain to wash out the red ink and leave that joint pink.

Man, Hillsborough - I thought y'all were better than that. And Sons? Just in case you missed it in school - here's the whole Pledge of Alligiance. It goes a little something like this: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." That ain't just whistlin' Dixie.



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