Saturday, January 08, 2005

8 Is the Loneliest Number

Wassup, Y'all!

That's right - Kobe Bryant's #8 Jersey has replaced one as the loneliest number. In fact, Kobe's whack jersey has fallen out of the top fiddy and the consensus seems to be that the extracurricular particulars up in Colorado had little to do with the drop...

Naw y'all, it seems Kobe's jersey is taking the fall due to his owners foolishness on the court. To wit, being a crybaby, backstabbing, loose lipped, championship team busting type of guy. All you have to do is check the NBA standings to see whether Shaq or Kobe was more responsible for the Lakers championship run. It ain't rocket science, y'all.

A close inspection of the action at the Mercedes Championship at Kapalua is revealing the fact that Vijay Singh ain't quite ready to stop faking the funk as golf's #1. Tiger, Tiger Woods y'all is hanging but it seems Vijay is ripe for a Tanya Harding style assault in the clubhouse. Who said golf clubs could only be used on the course? Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy?

Holy bite sized whiskers, Rat Man! Do we have to drink that? How many times are we going to have to suffer through these knuckleheads who get sick or outraged by something on TV? Now we have a buster trying to sue NBC for a Fear Factor episode that showed contestants chowing down rat smoothies. Come on now! First, if you willingly tune into Fear Factor you already know you're in for some nasty stunts. In fact, you have to wonder how that crew even finds people to participate when the top prize is only fifty large ($50,000 for y'all north of Chicago's South Side). Do you really want to be on TV that bad? How come nobody tried to sue all those entertainment shows when they pasted the following glossy of Anna Nichole and her late husband all over the airwaves?


Know what I'm saying? Now that's nasty. Dude, pass me a rat smoothie to get this nasty taste out my mouth! Hey - no lawsuits, y'all. I'm just illustrating a point and besides, y'all know I ain't got no $2.5 million living up in my mama's basement...



P.S. For my regular readers who are used to superlative glossies in this column - my bad!

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