Thursday, January 20, 2005

Serena: "That's Not My Booty"

Wassup, Y'all!

Sad but true. For the past few days the Internet's been buzzing with interest in a new glossy that has surface featuring the amazingly sculpted body of a sister wearing a red thong bikini. It's shot from behind (where else) and the young lady's face is obscured but she does bear a striking resemblance to a hot, young tennis star we all know...

Speculation and hearsay had the lovely lass pegged as none other than tennis phenom Serena Williams. After many an ooooo and ahhhhh uttered in homes and offices around the world, Serena - who's down under playing in the Australian Open - issued the following statement in her daily email update for USA Today:

"I am so happy to be competing again. I love to compete because it's just you and your opponent and nothing else matters. Not the media, not the false articles on the Internet or the false pictures. (And no, that's not me on the e-mail some of you have been getting. I don't have a tattoo, and don't you guys think I'm a little more in shape than that?)" - The Buff Williams Sister

Hmmmm, I have to admit I peeped the glossy (as research for this column) and have to say that old girl's shape in the glossy is pretty good. It's not like she's rollin' like Star Jones, now. But I have to give it up on the point about the tattoo - we've all seen Serena's shoulders (can't miss 'em in some of the outfits she be kickin') and unless she's wearing body makeup, she's tattoo free. Dang - I can hear the moans and groans from here, y'all! Nice try Internet Glossy Faker Guy - you almost had us on that one!

As Michael Powell from the FCC has an eye on me, I'll decline to post the glossy in question to maintain my PG-13 MPAA rating around this joint, but troll the 'Net - you're bound to stumble on it.

For a legit eye popping glossy of homegirl, check my August 27, 2004 post on Women's Beach Volleyball. That joint ought to get you through at least one cold night...



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