Thursday, March 17, 2005

Because *she* is my dream...

Wassup, Y'all!

Now before y'all get all touchy feely thinking old Tyrone's caught some feelings for a new mom-worthy shorty, that's not the topic of this post. Rather, I was catching up on some archived Tivo footage and stumbled across a three week old episode of Lost...

In the episode, they were fleshing out the backstory of the Asian couple and the guy (Jin) was asking permission from his future father-in-law to marry his daughter. As father's do, he sweated Jin for a few asking him what his plans were and Jin mumbled something about starting a restaurant then eventually opening his own hotel. So Pop's asked him just what he would do for his daughter and Jin said 'Anything' and Pop's said 'even work for me?' and Jin said 'Yep'. At this reply Pop's said 'Why should I let my daughter marry a man who's so willing to give up on his dreams?" to which Jin replied 'Because *she* is my dream'. And I'm like daaaaamn, that was smooth - I bet every shorty watching the show swooned on the couch at that moment. That was like that whole Jerry McGuire "You complete me" moment and it got me to thinking what damage a guy could do on the shorty population if he could think up these lines on the fly, on demand, without a writer taking hours, days or week's crafting the perfect line. I think Wilt's unbreakable record of sleeping with 20,000 shortys would be in serious jeopardy.

Lil' Kim Guilty!...You knew it was coming but it was a shock just the same. Martha's bunk at Alderson isn't even cold yet and now Lil' Kim could get up to a 20 year bid for her perjury conviction. You got to figure she's gonna have to do at least *some* of that time. I guess now's her opportunity to live up to that J.U.N.I.O.R mafia hood rat reputation. The drama begins at her June sentencing, y'all.

Lil' Kim
Soon to be wearing a
much more sensible ensemble...

Momma noooooo....Leave it to my girl Pheebs to break my groove by hipping me to the fact that my shorty supreme Rosario Dawson is kicking it with Jason Lewis. Now if you're like me (or you haven't watched Sex And The City faithfully), you'll be like who? So after Pheebs dubbed old boy "possibly one of the hottest human beings alive" I just had to post up this joker to get a peep - actually it's a mutual peep since I'm dropping a glossy of the cozy couple for y'all:

Jason & Rosario
Co-winners of the office gene pool

Okay - fair is fair. Pheebs was woman enough to give Vida Guerra her propers and dub her a smokeshow, so I guess I can at least say old boy can get into any party with his platinum mack daddy card. Looks like that *have* to be genetically engineered! You can't tell me that's random, y'all! Now old boy's swooped my girl Rosario. Word is they met up while filming "This Revolution" - the filming of which landed Rosario up on charges and made her the topic of my Free Rosario column - how damn ironic is that??? So they got to talking, one thing led to another and she slid down the coast from her San Fran pad to love shack with JL in LA. When questioned about the move, Rosario dropped the following heartbreaking quote:

"I'm very excited to play house with him!" - Miss (guided) Rosario

Awww, damn, damn, damn! But fear not, y'all - I'm cooking up a plan to have Pheebs swoop Jason and create an opportunity for old Tyrone to come in and console Rosario. Something tells me that's an assignment she'd be down for :-)

I'm out!



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