Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Who says you can't get closure?

Wassup, Y'all!

For those readers who've been following along, you'll note I've been dropping names (T.O., Nicollette, Lil' Kim, Rosario Dawson, Biggie, Oprah, blah, blah, blah) like suburban kids drop cold medicine, so I figured it's time to revisit a few stories and update the actual factuals. Not quite closure in the "old girl kicked me out of the crib and never told me why" sense, but in a much more rational and entertaining sense...

Oprah & Stedman Call it Quits!...That's right, y'all, you read it here first...unless you read it in the Globe on news stands now. According to 'sources' the romance is gone and since O turned 50, Steddy been steadily moving to the background. "She just doesn't need Stedman anymore. [He] can't keep up with her," confides a long time friend (sounds like our girl Gail King...). "He's there for her when she needs or wants an escort..." Hmmm...sounds familiar.

Entertainment Police Blotter...Lil' Kim's perjury case went to the jury today. If convicted of all charges rap's Hoochie High Priestess could do a 30 year bid. In lighter news, all charges against foine shorty Rosario Dawson have been dropped. No doubt as a result of my 'Free Rosario' column (Rosario: Homegirl I'm figuring a date or two is in order and maybe a free pass to the Sin City premiere!)

Rosario Dawson
Owes Tyrone Malone a Solid

FBI Closes Case in Notorious B.I.G. murder...no suspects, no arrests, no damn sense. How fast did they catch that homey in Atlanta who busted out? 24, 25 minutes? Oh that's right, he didn't shoot a thug rapper...or Vanilla Ice.

T.O and Nicollette ruled not indecent...I could have told y'all that. I've seen Victoria's Secret bra commercials hotter than that locker room scene and those joints come on all the time. Sometime the advertisers just get it right, y'all. Tyra, Victoria's Secret, bras, wooooo. Hmmm, I'm thinking that whole dust up had more to do with the outrage that T.O. was black and Nicollette was white than any moral outrage over a shot of her naked back...but that's just me.

Finally, since I'm wearing her cut, Girlfight, out in the hoopty, it's only fair to drop a glossy of 'smack down' shorty Brook Valentine. Word on her debut Chain Letter CD is good. How can it not with a follow up single called I Want You Dead? Hmmm...might want to be on your best date behavior with homegirl...

Brook Valentine
Beware the left hook

I'm out, y'all!



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