Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Top Ten TV Shortys I'm Missing...2-1

Wassup, Y'all!

I know what you're thinking as you cast your eyes on this tight glossy of Michael Michelle. True - old girl *would* have been my #1 pick if she hadn't been on the small screen this season. But as you can plainly see, ineligibility doesn't cancel out the hotness. I'm eagerly anticipating MM's next hook up. I'd prefer her finding another role on TV vs. the movies so I can fiend on a weekly dose but in her case, I'll take it any way I can get it. The way those Harry Potter books are flying off the shelves you'd think they slipped a few Tyrone Malone tight glossys in between those 600+ pages. Those joints are so thick word is they've replaced the yellow pages as 5-0's preferred tool for 'encouraging' jailhouse confessions. "What? You weren't there that night? Hold on, I think I got a copy of my daughter's Harry Potter right here. Oh yeah, here it go...BLA-DOW! Oh, so you *were* there..." Let me stop playing - I know y'all are anxious to behold the glossys within so let's get to it...

#2 Vanessa L. Williams (Boomtown - Det. Katherine Pierce) Now y'all know there was *no* way I was going to put together a list and not drop my girl Vanessa Williams in there did you? That's Vanessa L. not that tacky Showtime Soul Food Vanessa Williams who wouldn't give up the name in the Screen Actor's Guild directory (Phony Vanessa - if you're reading this girl - I'm just playing...). Actually it was kinda funny that those two were both associated with Soul Food (Vanessa L. played Teri in the film version and Phony Vanessa took over the role of Maxine from Vivica Fox who put her foot in the film role). Anyway, although foine Vanessa didn't last long in Boomtown, she lasted long enough to have me tuning in regularly and yelling at the TV to cut away from all the crime scene ruckus and get back to Vanessa's issues. Good news is she's headed back to the small screen with a UPN pilot called South Beach slated for next year (mid season replacement). Man, I'm still scratching my head about that bonehead Rick Fox. He had to know his basketball days were fading and that pretty soon the Boom-Pow groupies would be moving on to the young, up-and-comers like King James and D-Wade. Dummy! Dude, you had old girl locked! Oh well - guess that's all me now as soon as 'Nessa decides to return my calls...

#1 Jasmine Guy (Dead Like Me - Roxy Harvey / A Different World - Whitley Gilbert) Yes, yes, y'all. Foine Jasmine Guy tops my list. Regardless of whatever else she plays in she'll always be Whitley to me (a role that helped Jasmine pull in six consecutive NAACP Image Awards...). Jasmine has a lot of parallels to other shortys on the list - saditty like Kim Fields and Karyn Parsons and pretty much blew Lisa Bonet off of A Different World. As time went on that show gradually became hers and she had homeboys tuning in by the dozens. I *still* hate that I missed her turn as Velma Kelly in the touring production of 'Chicago'. My boy DLT told me she was off the meter and if you've ever seen the play, you know to play that role you have to bring it - singing, dancing and acting. That's why old Tyrone likes checking out live theater y'all. You can't fake talent on stage. Unlike all these pre/post processed Brickney-type singers - sound great in the studio - but put them live on stage and it sounds like a dog having sex with a cat (it's not pleasant, y'all). Anyway, when your pedigree comes from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Center, you have no problem droppin' it like it's hot and Jasmine's proof positive of that. I haven't seen any new TV projects on her horizon yet, but she's recently gone from triple to quadruple threat by writing Afeni Shakur - Evolution of a Revolutionary - a biographical memoir of Tupac's moms *and* she debuts at the top of old Tyrone's Top Ten TV Shortys I'm Missing List! Daaaang, ease up Jasmine!

So there y'all go. I know some of your picks didn't make it but that's why it's *my* top ten list! Seven days in the making but still tasty and less filling. Okay, plan to get your drink on in the next post as I graduate from Absinthe to ... (here's a hint - it's also mean and green!)



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